The Office

1.
Sa Resto:
Waiter: Ano po order nila, Ma'am?
Amo: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sa iyo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken,
boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts
of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and
served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.
Amo: Iho, abodo with rice daw.

2.
driver: hoy! bakit sais lang ang bayad mo? siyete na ang pamasahe
ngayon. t*nga!
inday: i am currently enrolled in a 2-year vocational course in an
academic institution. therefore, i am a student and, by this fact, i
am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain
discount on my jeepney fare. this is why i provided a payment less
than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated
in the fare matrix moron!
driver: (dumugo ang ilong!)

3.
Txter: hi, can you be the textmate?
Inday: it depends if you can abide by my heavy sched. you see, i get up
at 5am to cook for my boss, then do the chores until after suppertime.
only then can i reply but i would be very tired already so i guess i
won't be of much use as a text mate.

4.
FLASH REPORT: Inday is alive she's not yet dead. SOCO found out that,
the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn (Inday's neighbor) was the
mastermind.
SOCO: Bakit mo siya pinapatay?
Ederlyn: Kasi inagaw niya sa akin si Dodong!
Inday: Mythemaniac! He was never yours.
Ederlyn: Dong, di ba mahal mo din ako?
Dong: I never said, that I loved you! (mala-Sam Milby!)

5.
The principle "dictum de omni" best describes the events that have
transpired moments ago. Capital punishment is what I've been
expecting, but death is said to be un-Christian. Therefore, reclusion
perpetua comes close to what is best served. I don't hold grudges on
him and the absolute proposition is that he must accept his fate
dictated by law. - reaction ni Inday sa panonood sa promulgation ng
idol niyang si Erap

6.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I would like to inform the general public that I'm still ALIVE and
KICKING. Contrary to the text messages that have been circulated
lately. I have already seek legal advice regarding this rumor and my
lawyers are already preparing legal actions for the perpetrator. There
will be a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding this
matter.

Sincerely, Inday.

7.
"Morons! I was never raised by my mom to be a coquette! I'm nurtured
with such dignity, respect, and morality! Even poverty can't make me
do such scandalous act. Sexyness is from within. I don't rely on
aesthetic products and on skimpy outfits. So pathetic!" - banat ni
Inday matapos siyang aluking magpose sa FHM

8.
"I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will
contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My
creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of
outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress" sabi ni Inday sa
interview ng bago nyang amo!

9.
Consul: Why do you wanna go to US?
Amo: To travel, to visit my friends, and fly the airplane?
Consul: Denied! And you?
Inday: For life is a never-ending pursuit of material and social
satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a
trans-pacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable
sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where
souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.
Consul: LIFETIME MULTIPLE ENTRY VISA GRANTED!
Amo: Pot*h ka!

10.
"Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right
direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show
you somebody who has never achieved much" - comment ni Inday sa
pagkakamali ni Martin Nievera sa pagkanta ng Lupang Hinirang!