The Office

Accountant Jokes

Question and answer
1.
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?


A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.


2.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?


A. He talks about his business.


3.
Q: What is an extroverted accountant?


A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.


4.
Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?


A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.


5.
There are just two types of accountants:

Those who can count and those who can't.


6.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?


A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.


7.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?


A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.


8.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?


A: Depreciation.


9.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?


A: The accountant knows he is boring.


10.
Q: How was copper wire invented?


A: Two accountants were arguing over a penny.


11.
Q: What's an auditor?


A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.



12.
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?


A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.


13.
Q: What's the definition of a good tax accountant?


A: Someone who has a loophole named after him.


14.
Q: What's an extroverted accountant?


A: One who looks at your shoes while he's/she's talking to you instead of his/her own.


Accountants don't die, they just lose their balance.


15.
Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room?


A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

16.
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?


A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.


17.
Q: What's an actuary?


A: An accountant without the sense of humor.


18.
Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?


A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.


19.
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?


A: Invite an accountant.


20.
Q: What is GAAP (generally accepted accounting principles)?


A: The difference between accounting theory and practice.


Reference: ahajokes.com

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