Balooooooooottt!

Ang buhay parang ikaw,
Saan ka man iumpog,
Sarap pa rin, sa iyo ay lalabas.
Budburan ka man ng hirap,
Ang buhay sa iyo,
Di malalasap ang alat.

Sa bawat paghigop,
Ng katas ng mong mainit,
Dugo'y lumalakas ang daloy
Sa bawat ugat.
Ngunit dahil sa iyo, isang buhay ang ipinagkait.
Ngunit sa iyo, sarap ng buhay
Ay nalasap.


Ngunit ika'y parang pagtataksil.
Mapanukso ang dala mong sarap.
Dahil sa iyo, nakakalimutan ang lahat,
Isinasabay sa bawat pagtagay
Ng immortal na alak.

Kung bakit kung anong bawal,
Siya pa ang masarap.

Ngunit anuman ang gawin,
Pagkatapos ng lahat.
Ang lansa na dala mo'y nanunuot,
Anuman ang gawing paghugas.

Oo, buhay ka kung tawagin,
Bukal ng lakas ka kung ituring,
Ngunit, minsa'y tulad ka rin ng pagtataksil,
Malansa, anuman ang gawin,
Ikaw na kung tawagin ay...BALOT.

Death Note

Bintana ng katauhan,
Walang bahid na anoman,
Nang.

Liwanag,
... maliwanag, walang maaninag,
... dimensyong walang laman,
Nakakasilaw.

Liwanag... ... mapanuksong pagtawag,
... sa paghihingalo at paglisan,
Ng kamalayan... Ng kabuuan.

Liwanag...
... katahimikang waring umaakay,
... kamay na waring kumakaway,
Ng pagsuko.

Liwanag...
... sa pagitan ng laman at kaluluwa,
... nag-uugnay sa puti, pula at lila,
Sa mundo at pagpapahinga.

Liwanag...
Lila.

Dahon

Sa paghila ng lupa, humiwalay ang iyong lakas,
Kasabay ng pagkaputol, Ng iyong pagkahawak,
Sa punong bumuhay sa iyo -- ang panahon.

Sa hagupit ng hangin, Sa iyo ay humamon,
Ang lindol -- umaalon, Ngunit di ka nabuwal.
Pinatibay ng oras -- dimensyon.

Balat mo'y pinatigang, Ng init...
Mga dahong ginto, sa ilalim ng nagbabagang
Lupa...

Sa iyo bumuhay ang kasipagan,
Pagkakataon... Binuo ng alabok,
Ugat mo'y may hangganan,
Isa ka rin nilalang... na may paglisan.

At ngayon sa pagbuka ng lupa,
Iyong paalam...
Tatag sa pag-usbong ng panibagong puno,
Na may dahon,
Tulad mo'y, pagdating ng panahon,
Hahamunin at hahamon.
Ako -- bunga ng iyong henerasyon.
Katulad ng mga ibon,
Laging lilingon, kung
Saan nanggaling at saan dadamhin,
Siyang nagturo sa akin,
Na ang buhay ay dahon,
Humihiwalay sa puno,
Sa paghila ng lupa,
Sa muling paghamon --
Sa paglisan ng dahon --
Katahimikang panghabang- panahon.

Seventy Five (75)

Umaalulong ang bilanggo mong pawis,
Na pinasidhi ng immortal na buwan,
Kaulayaw ng gabing nagbabaga,
Sa lamig na dala ng wari'y kamangmangan,
At ito'y hudyat ng unti-unti mong pagkabaliw,
Sapagkat muling isisilang ang umaga,
At nais mo ng magpahinga at pumanaw,
Sapagkat bukas na ang maaaring katapusan,
Ngunit ang uyaw ay muling narinig,
Sa labi ng gurong bangungot,
At ngayo'y tinatawanan ka na ng araw,
Humahalaklak sa iyong bintana,
Sapagkat, O nais mong pagsanayan,
Ang bawat kasagutan...

Bagamat wala ka pang pahinga,
walang kapaguran...
Ngunit sila'y di naniniwala na ikaw nama'y
Nag-aaral...
Ito'y walang makaunawa...
Ito'y di maunawaan ng sinuman...
Kundi ako, Kundi ikaw...
Magkakaramay isang pamilya,
Isang barangay.
Palakol na karangalan...PASADO!
Bukas...
Isang tagay!
Isang pagdiriwang!

Kamindyo*

Isinilang niyo kami,
Dugo sa buo naming katawan
Tanda ng aming pagkatali sa inyo
Na kami'y galing sa inyong mga
Laman...
Laman na inyo, ngunit --
Hindi ang isipan,
Hindi lahat ng pagsunod.
Tulad niyo -- kami'y may buhay,

...Kami'y hindi inyo --
...Kami'y sa sangkatauhan.

Maitatali niyo -- aming mga kamay
Ngunit -- hindi ang aming isipan.
Kami'y mga anak ng lupa,
At kami'y may buhay.

Paghihinagpis walang dahilan,
Para sa aming kalayaan.
Nais naming umunlad,
Lumaya -- dalahin niyo'y ibsan,
Mga ugat nami'y pumipitik
Kami'y may buhay.

Magtitiis kung kinakailangan,
Upang patunayan -- lumaki kami
Sa bagong bayan -- kabataa'y
Di bulag -- oo
Kami'y may buhay.

... Kami'y hindi inyo,
... Kami'y sa sangkatauhan.


*KAMINDYO - salitang pinag-isa mula sa mga salitang "kami'y hindi inyo."

Ulcer ni Juan Dela Cruz

Kung maaari lamang lumapa
Ng nilalang, ngunit hindi sapat,
Sapagkat mas marami ang putik sa lupa,
Kaysa sa dagat.
Ngunit ako ay tao pa ring naturingan
At nanginginig ang mga laman,
Pag-iisip ang isipan...
Naghahanap ng mailalagay sa tiyan,
Ngunit walang mahanapan,
Masisisi mo ba ako? Kung...
Balang-araw papaslang ako,
Ng kapwa ko nilalang at
Kakainin ang laman?

Padadaluyin sa bituka ang mga mata,
Upang maaninag ang dugo,
Para sa uhaw na pagdurusa.
Mga butong pinatigas ng matandang pandaraya,
Ibabaon sa mainit na lupa,
Upang husgahan at litisin ka sa iyong sala.

Magpapakaligaya sa iyong pusong manhid,
At bayag na pinatapang ng teknolohiya,
Upang makaranas man lang ng iyong yaman,
Sanhi ng unti-unti kong pagkabaliw.
Iiwan ang pusong pumipitik,
Upang paglaruan, katulad ng iyong paglalaro,
Sa aking katawang hinaplos
Ng iyong kataksilan.

Tignan!
Wala na sa isipan
Tiyang walang laman, nanginginig
Mahinang katawan,
Saan ang puso kung sa iba'y wala din naman?
Labanang iyong itinuro,
Paglapa sa kapwa ko nilalang
Nagtatampisaw sa dugo mo...
BALIW NA KATOTOHANAN!
Gutom na gutom, oo
Balang araw....

Bayag na Inutil

HUMUPA NA ANG usok ng digmaan at ang bayan mo ay lumaya.

Natamo mo ang lahat ng karapatan, kahalalan, at kalayaan maging Pilipino.

Isinalin sa iyo ng iyong mga ninuno ang tungkuling yakapin at ipagtanggol ang iyong lahi.

Nabigyan ka ng pagkakataon sa gilid ng bughaw mong karagatan, at sa ibabaw nito, sa tugatog ng mayaman mong mga pulo at sa kasaganaan ng iyong kapatagan... upang magsanay. Upang linangin ang katapangan at kasipagang dumadaloy sa iyong mga ugat. Upang buhayin ang mayaman mong pag-iisip at paghusayan ang kakayahang ipinamana sa iyo.

Upang mapangalagaan ang busilak na balon ng kapayapaan na ipinagkatiwala sa iyo ng dakila mong bayan. At upang patapangin ang pulang dugong dumadaloy sa bawat mong pangarap. Itinurok tanda upang ipagmalaki ka ng iyong lahi... sa iyong muling pagbangon...KABATAANG PINOY.



Ni buhok ni Gat Jose Rizal, o ni Luna, o ni Mabini ay di na kailanman masasamyo ang katapangan, ngunit ipinaalam sa iyo kung ano ang itong halimuyak.

"Ibinalabal sa iyo ang lakas ng isang kabataan."

Sa iyong mga butong kasing-tigas ng mga marmol sa Romblon ay pumipitik ang dugo ng isang Malaya, laman ng isang maginoo, balat ng isang bayani, at isip ng isang matalinong Pilipino.

Sa bawat patak ng pawis mo ay ginintuang butil sa palayan na bumubuhay sa iyong naghihikahos na bayan.

Tinagurian kang henyo ng bagong henerasyon sapagkat ang buhay sa iyo ay nasasalamin. Hawak mo sa iyong mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng iyong lahi.

"At ang buhay ng bayan mo ay sa iyo nakasalalay. Sapagkat isa kang mabuting bahagi ng lupang tugatog ng karangalan."


Ngunit habang tinatahak mo ito ay sumisidhi ang galit na naguumapaw sa bagabag mong diwa.

"Sapagkat ang mga ito ay HINDI TOTOO. Sapagkat ito ay HINDI IKAW."

Sapagkat hanggang ngayon ay wala ka pa ring nagagawang makasaysayan para sa iyong bayan. Sapagkat hanggang ngayon itinatakwil ka ng iyong lahi... at ng iyong bayang tinubuan.

At kung meron mang dapat bitayin ay hindi lamang si Echegaray, kundi pati IKAW! Taksil!!!

Kung buhay pa si Dr. Jose Rizal ngayon ay isusumpa ka at magnanais na mamatay ng paulit-ulit upang mabuhay ka lamang at matauhan. At si Bonifacio na bagamat di kasing mangmang mo ay magnanais na hasahin ang kanyang dahas upang tigpasin ang ulo mong pinuno ng tubig.

At si Mabini ay magnanais na habang-buhay na malumpo upang pilitin kang magpasan at magpagal sa kabayanihan ng iyong bayan.

Mariwasa mong nagagawa nagagawa ang bawat naisin.

"Sapagkat ang sabi mo ay malaya ka."

Nagpapakalunod ka sa usok na dulot ng iyong bawat layaw. Maporma ka at yan lang ang alam mong gawin.

Ang magbihis at maligo sa pabango mong amoy katol.

Sa katawan mo bumabalot ang maburarang telang tanda ng maaksaya mong pamumuhay at pamosong katampalasanan. Ngayon nagdurusa ka sa kabag na dulot ng maluwag mong kalayawan.

Dapat kang supilin! Kasuklaman nawa ang lahi mo!

Wari'y isa kang galis na nagpapahina sa sistema ng iyong bayan.

Pinuno ng likidong kasuklam-suklam ang dulot na amoy na pinatindi ng iyong katamaran.

Nagnanaknak itong kasing kapal ng iyonG mukhang hinubaran ng prinsipyo.

Namamaga itong wari'y wala ng lunas dahil sa iyong kamangmangan. Hindi malaman kung paano malalabanan ang kating dulot ng iyong pagpapabaya...at karumihan.

Ipokrito! Mapagkunwari ka!

Nagpapanggap kang isang banal na aso at santong kabayo sa paningin ng iyong kapwa.

"Ngunit isa ka namang uod!"

Nagpapahirap sa uugod-ugod mo ng mga magulang. Sapagkat ginagamit mo pa rin ang kamay ng iyong ina sa pagsubo ng iyong pagkain.

Sabi mo mag-aasawa ka na ngunit hanggang ngayon ina mo pa rin ang naghuhugas ng ari mo.

Nakakapit ka pa rin sa bayag ng iyong ama. Kahit ngayon ay maitim na rin ang bayag mo.

Duwag!

Malapit ka ng mabulag sa kapal ng mutang bumabalot sa liko mong paningin. Sapagkat pilit kang nagmumukmok sa kuwadrong pinamumugaran ng mga inalagaan mong ipis at salinlahi ng daga.

Ang tunog ng mga bangaw sa likod-bahay ay waring musikang sa iyo ay nagpapatulog.

Batugan!


Kabataan, ni abakada'y hindi mo alam na wari bang ito'y isang bagong bagay.

At nagpapanggap ka sa mundong marami kang nalalaman?

Ni bumilang ng surot sa ilalim ng iyong kama'y hindi mo kayang gawin. At pinapaniwala mo ang daigdig na isa kang dakila?

"Ngunit ang bayag mo'y lihim na umuusli sa tuwing kaharap mo na ang tunay na mundo."

At madalas mong maranasan na nilalapa ka ng kahihiyan at tinutunaw ka ng kakarampot mong nalalaman. Sapagkat ang laman ng utak mo'y puro taba.

Sapagkat masiba ka sa pagkaing hindi ikaw ang bumayo.







"Nilalangaw na ang bunso mong kapatid sa nagngangalit na lansangan."

Ngunit nariyan ka pa ring humuhuthot ng pagtataksil. Lumalapa ng kapwa mo nilalang. At pumupulutan sa alaga mong pusa. Humahalay sa sarili mong ina at kapatid. Tumataga sa balikat ng sarili mong ama na bumubuhat ng daigdig...Na sana ikaw ang pumapasan.

Inutil!!!

"At ngayon sisisihin mo ang bayan sa pagkawala ng iyong bayag?"

Ngayong wala ka ng makain? At ngayong nagdurusa ka sa masangsang na selda?

"Marahil yan ang tunay ang nararapat sa iyo. "

Sapagkat inilalayo mo ang iyong sarili at ipinagkakait ang kakayahang sa iyo ay inaasahan ng lipunan.

Marapat ka lamang limutin ng bayan mo sapagkat nilimot mo rin ang siyang nag-alaga sa iyo.

Ikinahihiya mong maging Pilipino sapagkat ginawa mong kahiya-hiya ang iyong sarili.

Makapal na ang balat ng iyong bayag ngunit hindi kasing nipis ng paninindigan mo.

Madalas mong ipagmalaki na ikaw ang lumalang sa iyong sarili ngunit madalas kang mapipi sa bawat katanungang ano na ang nagawa mong mabuti at karapat-dapat?

Mayabang ka at madali mong nalimot ang kulturang kalaro mo sa putik noong isa ka pa lamang musmos. Bagkus ipinagkanulo mo ito gamit ang baluktot mong pangangatwiran at pagsasanaysay.

Lumaki kang grasa ang iyong kaulayaw.


Hanggang ngayon, hindi mo pa rin nauunawaang bahagi ka ng isang malaking layunin...ang maging buhay at itanyag ang iyong lahi...

Naghuhusga akong may paninindigan na walang anomang bahid ng talinghaga.

Sapagkat nalalaman kong ito ay totoo at pawang katotohanan.

"Dinggin mo ang palahaw na umaalingawngaw dulot nitong sanaysay at hayaan mong usigin ka ng iyong sarili."

At hayaan mong yakapin ka ng lupa sa panghihinang dulot nito. Magbalik ka sa pinaggalingan mo at ilibing ang iyong sarili.

Ngunit manatili kang buhay.

Sapagkat ayaw kong makitang muling kumulubot ang bayag mo at bumuo ng isa na namang pagkakamali.

Hindi malinaw at payapa ang tubig sa lawa kapag patuloy mong hahayaang pumatak ang iyong luhang puno ng pagkukunwari.

Ngayon ang pagkakataon upang tumigil ka sandali at haplusin ang itim mong bayag at pag-isipang mabuti ang iyong sarili.

Gusto kong makitang masigla ka at ipinagmamalaki ng iyong bayan.

"Ako ang iyong anino at salita. Ang salita'y ako at ako'y ikaw. Ako ang siyang umaalingawngaw sa diwa mo. Akong siyang bumuhay sa iyo. Ako na iyong bayan."

Kabataan, ang dungis mo...MAGBIHIS KA!

Magkabiyak

Elemento.
Isang nilalang.
Walang kasarian.
Perpekto.
Makapangyarihan.
Noon.

Ang elementong ito ay naging sakim. Sabik sa kapangyarihan. Pati ang kaharian ng lumalang sa kanya, gusto niyang angkinin.

Naging mapangahas at lalong lumakas ang kapangyarihan ng elemento dahilan upang sila ay parusahan ng Dakilang Kaharian.

"Isang malakas at matalas na kidlat ang humiwa at nagdulot ng immortal na sugat sa katawan nito at sila ay nahati sa DALAWA...isang lalaki, at isang babae at tinawag na TAO."

Mula noon, ang elemento ay hindi na kumpleto.
Hindi na perpekto.
Walang kapangyarihan.
May kasarian. Tinawag na tao.

Isinumpa upang hanapin magpakailanman ang kanyang sarili na kung tawagin ay....KABIYAK.

Ikaw sino kaya ang kabiyak mo?

(itutuloy...)

Chat using (Yahoo, MSN, Facebook, Myspace, Gtalk, etc.)

Blog Ong's: One-on-One with INDAY Part 6

1.
NUNG BATA PA SI INDAY.
Nanay: Day, bat ba ang tigas tigas ng ulo mo?
Inday: Nay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.
Nanay: Day, anong nakain mo? I'm pertubed by your words!
Inday: Nay, ala namang gantihan.

2.
"Thank you for calling. This is Inday How can I provide you world
class service today?" - si Inday, nag call center na, finally!

3.
I certainly believe that though we didn't make it for the sixth time,
still the noise of our crowd was enough to conquer the Big Dome. The
yells and cheers of the true champion couldn't be beaten by those who
think that they "rock". Wasn't it shameful to enjoy a regime with a
point difference? Knowing that they exerted enough effort, duh? At
least, deep within me, I aggressively defend my "Go Uste"! Eventhough
we did fell on our first pyramid. - reaction ni Inday sa nakalipas na
UAAP Cheerdance

4.
Did it ever occur to you that the ultraviolet rays of the idiot box
can bring harmful radiation to the retinal area. It could lead to
blurred vision, worse, permanent blindness. - pinagalitan ni Inday si
junior sa sobrang lapit manood ng TV.

5.
Amo: Nabalitaan mo na ba ang nangyari kay Mang Tomas, nakulong ata
kasi bumili ng nakaw na cellphone kahit inosente siya?
Inday: Ganun talaga yung Ati!
Amo: Aba, nagmamarunong ka na ha?
Inday: According to the provisions of the law of obligations and
contracts, in that case, the law has the presumption that "ignorance
of the law excuses no one from compliance thereof"
Amo: ganun? (dugo ilong!)

6.
Don't limit my capacity to the four corners of this luxurious abode.
Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world because I want
to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences. - si Inday,
nagrereklamo dahil ayaw siyang isama ng amo niya sa Enchanted Kingdom

7.
Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat
siya kay Inday.
Amo: So Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a
mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?
Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu
casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable.
Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no
puedo porque esta casa es fea.
Amo: (Tulala!)

8.
Nagmamani: ah mani mani mani malutong mani kayo dyan oh! Limang piso
lang mani kayo dyan oh!
Inday: Mr. Peanut, are those nuts cropped from a high class soil
fertilized through an advanced agricultural method to produce a rich
tasted appetizer which you, Mr. Peanut, dried it in a premium grade 0%
fat canola oil with a low salt solution to consider those low
cholesterol diet practitioner like me?
Nagmamani: Pakyu!

Blog Ong's: One-on-One with INDAY Part 5

1.
Sa Resto:
Waiter: Ano po order nila, Ma'am?
Amo: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sa iyo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken,
boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts
of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and
served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.
Amo: Iho, abodo with rice daw.

2.
driver: hoy! bakit sais lang ang bayad mo? siyete na ang pamasahe
ngayon. t*nga!
inday: i am currently enrolled in a 2-year vocational course in an
academic institution. therefore, i am a student and, by this fact, i
am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain
discount on my jeepney fare. this is why i provided a payment less
than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated
in the fare matrix moron!
driver: (dumugo ang ilong!)

3.
Txter: hi, can you be the textmate?
Inday: it depends if you can abide by my heavy sched. you see, i get up
at 5am to cook for my boss, then do the chores until after suppertime.
only then can i reply but i would be very tired already so i guess i
won't be of much use as a text mate.

4.
FLASH REPORT: Inday is alive she's not yet dead. SOCO found out that,
the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn (Inday's neighbor) was the
mastermind.
SOCO: Bakit mo siya pinapatay?
Ederlyn: Kasi inagaw niya sa akin si Dodong!
Inday: Mythemaniac! He was never yours.
Ederlyn: Dong, di ba mahal mo din ako?
Dong: I never said, that I loved you! (mala-Sam Milby!)

5.
The principle "dictum de omni" best describes the events that have
transpired moments ago. Capital punishment is what I've been
expecting, but death is said to be un-Christian. Therefore, reclusion
perpetua comes close to what is best served. I don't hold grudges on
him and the absolute proposition is that he must accept his fate
dictated by law. - reaction ni Inday sa panonood sa promulgation ng
idol niyang si Erap

6.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I would like to inform the general public that I'm still ALIVE and
KICKING. Contrary to the text messages that have been circulated
lately. I have already seek legal advice regarding this rumor and my
lawyers are already preparing legal actions for the perpetrator. There
will be a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding this
matter.

Sincerely, Inday.

7.
"Morons! I was never raised by my mom to be a coquette! I'm nurtured
with such dignity, respect, and morality! Even poverty can't make me
do such scandalous act. Sexyness is from within. I don't rely on
aesthetic products and on skimpy outfits. So pathetic!" - banat ni
Inday matapos siyang aluking magpose sa FHM

8.
"I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will
contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My
creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of
outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress" sabi ni Inday sa
interview ng bago nyang amo!

9.
Consul: Why do you wanna go to US?
Amo: To travel, to visit my friends, and fly the airplane?
Consul: Denied! And you?
Inday: For life is a never-ending pursuit of material and social
satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a
trans-pacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable
sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where
souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.
Consul: LIFETIME MULTIPLE ENTRY VISA GRANTED!
Amo: Pot*h ka!

10.
"Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right
direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show
you somebody who has never achieved much" - comment ni Inday sa
pagkakamali ni Martin Nievera sa pagkanta ng Lupang Hinirang!

Blog Ong's: One-on-One with INDAY Part 4

1.
Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way
of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of society. I hate
character assassinators! - reklamo ni inday nung matsismis sya ng
kapitbahay!

2.
500 globe plan subscription
1800 glutathione tablet
600 olay total effects
1500 crocs flip flops
2000 for mama
- binabudget ni Inday ang sweldo niya

3.
Amo 1: Inday, ano gamit mo sa katawan mo, ang kinis mo kasi eh?
Amo 2: Siguro gumagamit ka nang Papaya.
Amo 1: Baka naman kalamansi?
Inday (Babanat na naman): No!
"Only Belo touches my skin, who touches yours?"

4.
Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It
doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what
you mean. Do it everyday. This is one of the most obvious qualities of
the most beloved people. If you cannot be generous financially, at
least be generous with your words. - yan ang sabi ni inday ng di siya
pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo niya.

5.
I understand that sexual urge is most of the time uncontrollable since
a lot of factors contribute for it to be triggered. This is also the
reason some men are found to be polygamous and engage themselves in
sexual acts even with someone who's a total stranger to them - sabi ni
Inday matapos siyang gapangin ni Kuya!

6.
Inday: I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and
dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth, and
I hope that one day you'll realize that you should not use humans as
means of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, "treat
a man as an end in itself."
Holdaper: Shut up! Coz if you don't the bullet in this gun will rest
upon your empty head!

I was shot by a 9mm bullet in the head damaging my entire skull so
that I will die and stop speaking english preventing people from
nose-bleedin' - In loving memory of Inday

I thought I was dead. I must have been in a near-death experience. I
believed I survived to tell the world that we are not just a bunch of
household slaves, but persons of dignity and character - si Inday,
matapos makarecover sa coma

7.
Biodata ni Inday:
Name: Inocencia Binayubay
Age: 18
Parents: Aling Seling and Mang Andoy
Siblings: Iying 13, Itoy 8, Iking 5
Educ: College - La Salle Zobel 2nd yr
Educ: HS - P. Gomez High School (Valedictorian, Best in English)
Educ: Elem - Sta. Monica Elem. School (Valedictorian, Best in Dancing)
Work Experience: 3 yrs, Household Service Manager - Mr. and Mrs.
Montemayor

8.
The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not
only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into
the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and
long-lasting oil free skin. - paliwanag ni Inday habang nasa harap ng
salamin, nagpapahid ng Chin Chun Su.

9.
With the upcoming holiday, I forecast travel plans to my hometown so
that I may visit my family. In line with this, may I request that my
financial budget be reviewed so that I may take a portion in advance?
Justification as follows: for the dual purpose of
(a) finalizing my flight booking
(b) bringing tokens of appreciation to my parent, siblings, and
cousins up to the third level of consanguinity. - si Inday
bumabale para makapag bakasyon sa pamilya.

10.
1. Fendi Handbag
2. Ba,enciaga sandals
3. Manolo Blanihk high heels
4. CHANNEL furr coat
5. Ipod Video 80 gig
6. Motorola Razor Dolce and Gabbana edition
7. Sony Bravia Flat Screen Plasma TV
8. Aquamarine Diamond Wristwatch
9. Louis Vuitton Travelling Bag
10. Obagi System Skin Care Line
11. Shiseido Cosmetics
12. One week vacation spree at the Bahamas
- wish list ni Inday for Christmas. Nakadikit sa refrigerator ng amo nya!

Blog Ong's: One-on-One with INDAY Part 3

1.
"Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean
I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll
have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!", -reaction ni
Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia

2.
"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to
glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When
cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large
amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting,
inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse than one
cigarette." - sagot ni Inday nang tanungin bakit di siya nagluluto ng
French Fries

3.
"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino
delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic
process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods,
the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the
market.", -banat ni Inday kung bakit walang "kangkong" sa nilutong sinigang

4.
"Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration
occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and
anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance
results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness." -sagot
ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior

5.
Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

6.
"Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to
one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a
break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once
had." - sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff

7.
Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?
Inday: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and
the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount
rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the
chair. This in accordance with PAS 18 on Revenue, PAS 16 on Property,
Plant, and Equipment, and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets! - si Inday CPA din pala.

8.
Amo: Bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in weather patterns might have occurred, wreaking
havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates
that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path
it was heading for.
Amo: ganon?!

9.
Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution! - si Inday, pinapaalis ang
makulit na pulubi sa gate

10.
"Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages
and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted
upon you!" - pinagbabawalan ni Inday na maglikot ang mga bata

Karagatan

Bughaw.
Larawan ng kapayapaan
Ng kalooban.
Habang pinagmamasdan.
Malinaw, umaalon
Na parang buhay.
Kahalihalina--maamo
Dumuduyan.
Kasama ang mga ibon
Nagliliparan -- ligtas sa kalangitan.
Di maaninag ang dulo.
Di maabot ang kalaliman.
Mayaman -- makulay
Kagandahang nagkukubli
Ng panganib--na di--inaasahan.
Dumuduyan ng kaligayahan,
Tawanan...
Ng mga taong nagtatampisaw
Sa tubig mo...

'Kaw na karagatan...
Ngayon-- marahil bukas
Magpakailanman.
Ngiti niya ay -- lumisan
Mawawala kasama ng hangin
Sa paglubog
Ng araw.

Youtube Ala-Silverscreen Comedy

Want more funny videos? Click here!

Accounting Jokes 101

Accountant Jokes

Question and answer
1.
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?


A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.


2.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?


A. He talks about his business.


3.
Q: What is an extroverted accountant?


A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.


4.
Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?


A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.


5.
There are just two types of accountants:

Those who can count and those who can't.


6.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?


A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.


7.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?


A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.


8.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?


A: Depreciation.


9.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?


A: The accountant knows he is boring.


10.
Q: How was copper wire invented?


A: Two accountants were arguing over a penny.


11.
Q: What's an auditor?


A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.



12.
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?


A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.


13.
Q: What's the definition of a good tax accountant?


A: Someone who has a loophole named after him.


14.
Q: What's an extroverted accountant?


A: One who looks at your shoes while he's/she's talking to you instead of his/her own.


Accountants don't die, they just lose their balance.


15.
Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room?


A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

16.
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?


A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.


17.
Q: What's an actuary?


A: An accountant without the sense of humor.


18.
Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?


A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.


19.
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?


A: Invite an accountant.


20.
Q: What is GAAP (generally accepted accounting principles)?


A: The difference between accounting theory and practice.


Reference: ahajokes.com

More accounting jokes here!

At last, ACCOUNTING NOTES are shared in the web!

Hi friends, colleagues, classmates, and website customers!

I want to thank you for visiting one of the several blog sites of Bobong Genius (the owner of Bobong House). This blog site is called "FREE ACCOUNTING NOTES".


Ok, let's get straight to the point immediately.

The first question that might be lingering in your head right now must be, IS BLOG ONG A CERTIFIED ACCOUNTANT? To answer the question, NOT YET. I am a 5th year Accounting student of the ever famous and respected Saint Louis University - Baguio City.

With God's help and kind guidance, equipped with sincere and honest hard work, I shall be graduating on October this year and I plan to take THE CPA BOARD EXAM several months after. I said so because I would still have to take a FORMAL CPA REVIEW class before I shall take the difficult CPA Board Exam.

Your next question might be, SO WHY IS HE MAKING ALL THIS STUFF? Or is he qualified and competent enough to discuss accounting in the web? Again to answer your question, my purpose is NOT TO RENDER PUBLIC ACCOUNTING SERVICE in the web but rather TO SHARE WITH YOU ACCOUNTING IDEAS and MY ACCOUNTING NOTES.

I shall use the web to TRAIN MYSELF even more with the principles I have learned during my college days by discussing with others through the web the broad and difficult to understand accounting principles and standards.

But why? How?

Firstly, FREE ACCOUNTING NOTES main objective is to share with you accounting knowledge through FREE ACCOUNTING NOTES SHARING in the web.

Notes sharing is simply POSTING MY SUMMARIZED NOTES in accounting (e.g accounting formulas, ready-made accounting proforma forms, solutions to problem solving in different accounting fields, ideas that I may have that others have not, etc.)

You know, I believe that this blog site is most important and timely specially for those who are still starting to build their ambition (like me) to be an accountant someday and to those who want to learn the BASICS OF ACCOUNTING.

Accounting is EASY AND FUN when shared!

Secondly, I believe that ACCOUNTING IS BEST LEARNED by anyone (accounting-oriented or not) when it is discussed and clarified repeatedly.

REPETITIVE METHOD OF LEARNING (Learning by repetition) is a technique whereby one trains his brain with thoughts over and over again so that it will be saved in the memory bank. This method was proven to be effective to many since it helps the brain to permanently holds information and enhances our ability to comprehend effectively and thereby training our analytical skills.

Analytical skills are crucial abilities that every accountant has.

By doing this accounting blog site, I am already doing and practicing the technique of repetitive learning. By sharing with you my knowledge and discussing accounting through this blog, I am actually training my skills and enhancing my knowledge in accounting and at the same time sharing my FREE ACCOUNTING NOTES with you.

Repetitive learning of principles of accounting with a disciplined character of consistent practice is proven to be an effective tool in learning accounting easily and efficiently.

THIS BLOG IS FREE FOR ALL.

It can be use by anyone. You may be an accounting student, accounting student wannabes, and those of you who wants to have a basic understanding of what accounting is all about.

I call it my basic knowledge in accounting because i do not want to complicate discussions of matters here, since my purpose is to discuss with everyone in the simplest manner I can the principles and theories of the accounting profession.

Moreover, I still do not have the license to give and discuss with you the intricacies of the accounting profession.

Additionally, I am bound to clarify that even though I am a student of Saint Louis University, the said respected university has NOTHING TO DO with this blog.

Any correction in any matter discussed in this blog is my FULL RESPONSIBILITY and I am bound to correct whatever clarification given in my attention. Rest assured, however, that any matters discussed herein are lifted carefully from authorized reference materials and resources.

Should I be putting discussions that contains specifications directly lifted from a source, it is imperative to the writer of this blog to site the reference of the information.

Any opinionated idea written in here are the ideas of the writer and it has nothing to do with anyone. Should there be any similarities and coincidences in any discussion I shall be sharing, I am more than willing to answer and accept clarification.

I hope this blog will serve its purpose.

Haha, seems like I am getting serious with my discussions again. For the meantime, since this blog is still starting, you may just want to read some ACCOUNTING JOKES. Read on!

BLOG ONG

Welcome home!

Hi, friends!



Blog Ong wants to thank you for coming!!!

Have you ever wanted a virtual house in the web? A blog site that satisfies your everyday routines and habits. A blog that squeezed into one program all your digital needs.

If yes, this might be a dream come true. This might be the blog you are certainly looking for!

Imagine a website which almost contains all. Everything, from music, movies, videos, email, library, and a blog where you can play your favorite games online.

Now, try to close your eyes and imagine that, you are lying on a Red Couch so soft that you want to rest all day long. It is the feel of having the comfort of your home.

Again, in your Red Couch imagine you are reading your favorite books, reviewing your favorite movies, and watching your favorite comedy shows!

Plus, what if in just one click, you can order your favorite pizza, pasta, lasagna, and french fries online? Oh, what a life!

And where can you find a blog site that has its own Wiki House and a Comedy Room?

Finally, who does not know Blog Ong? You might be, that is why you are certainly here. Firstly, I really appreciate your presence! NOW, you will have the chance to meet the man behind BOBONG GENIUS and BOBONG HOUSE.

May we be friends forever and enjoy staying in MY HOUSE. (Feel at home!)

Your Youtube (Widescreen)

User Manual:
1. Click on the button with "white triangle" on the lower-right portion of youtube.
2. Click the first (lower) icon.
3. Type the name of the video you want in the search bar above.

(New!) Wiki's BEST DANCERS of the World

Great Britain


Truly a fantastic finale for Britain Got Talent as millions (19.2 millions) of viewers in around the world tuned in! The dance group, Diversity, from Essex and London street came up against global Scottish phenomenon Susan Boyle left the audience applaud with delight as they were declared the DESERVING CHAMPION!

Indeed, no doubt the nation, if not the entire world, was also surprised, not to mention all the bookies who thought Boyle would win!

Diversity were sheer dynamite. There's no doubt justice was done. They win a cool £100,000 and a once in a lifetime chance to perform at this year's Royal Variety Performance in front of the Queen.

Your Anime

Watch your favorite anime and be proud to be young again and again. Who says only kids watch anime?

Your Radio

Listen All Popular Radio stations in one music player. Live BBC, CNN Radio, AOL Radio Player, ShoutCAST Radio Station, 1Club FM, World Music, Sky FM, Dance FM, Hindi Songs, Shiyam Radio, Tamil Radio, EXTamil FM, Live Chinese QQ FM, Live Sports, Live Quran Player and much more.

Your Movie Magazine

Movie reviews written just for you.

Stupidometer

Ok, we are all stupid sometimes. Just wondering how stupid you are? Then take this siimple test and measure your stupidity! Haha, dont be ashamed to be stupid sometimes. No one is perfect anyway. Enjoy!

Star Wars Game

Darthvader is nearing his destiny. You must help him use the force to survive as long as possible. Remember to set the difficulty level on Darth's left before clicking Play.

Prince Caspian Game

The Land of Narnia is under attack, by a new enemy, The Evil Tellarmarines. Join Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy as they help Prince Caspian rid Narnia of this dark force.
Use the Arrow keys to move left, right, back and forward. Double tap the left and right keys to run.
Use the space bar to attack, use the arrow keys for combination moves
ESC To Pause the game & resume

Your Flash Player

Ah, i know what you are looking for. Youtube? Metacafe? Live Video? Blah, blah, blah, they are all here.

Your Movie Library

Your Cinema Room

Watch your favorite movie here. Be early because the cinema can only accomodate 6,000 viewers. Enjoy watching!

Your Movie Diary

Still remember those tag lines in your favorite movies? Ah, forget it. This tool might just remind you.

Your Movie Trailers

Cant wait to see the next story of your favorite movies and you like to take a look at its snapshots? Then you just gotten what you need. Watch them here! Movie trailers are updated daily!

Your Television

Watch live television shows. You can select your favorite channels below the television screen. Happy watching!

Your Music Player

Happy listening!

(New!) Wiki's BEST DANCERS of the World

Philippines


The Philippines is really an archipelago of varied talents. Once more they proved to the world their remarkable talents when the Philippine All Stars Hip-Hop Dance Group bagged the Gold Medal in the 2008 World Hip-Hop Championship in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Philippine All Stars pinned down more than 1,000 participants from more than 33 countries in the world in the said event. They smashed all other participants with their outstanding 2-minute performance. Truly they impressed not only the judges but most importantly the numerous viewers around the world.

The group nailed in 8.94% score, 5.35 of which was due to their undefeated choreography. The group brought home their gold medals and cash price.

Blog Ong's: One-on-One with INDAY Part 2

1.
"This is just not the right time to give it a try, for there are
things that are not worth losing by making a move towards an uncertain
future; destiny will always bring us where we're meant to be." -
paliwanag ni Inday ng ayain siya ni Dodong na magtanan kagabi

2.
"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why,
for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to
that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of
austerity I was made separated from" - si Inday, hindi makatulog dahil
naho-homesick

3.
"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the
downpour of rain should have made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue
I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what
I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true
romance." - si Inday, nag-e-emote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si
Badong, ang boyfriend niya

4.
"The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation.
The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some
rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because
the upper household dismissed my petition!" -ganito nakipagbreak si
Inday kay Badong (hardinero ng kapitbahay)

5.
"I wish forgetting my feelings for someone was as easy as digging a
hole in the backyard, burying it there, and leaving a cross over it to
remind me how beautiful it once was. But it could never be like that,
forgetting these feelings, is much like digging my very own grave and
burying myself alive." - Si Inday ulit, during the break-up

6.
Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglisera ka would
you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of
fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used,
connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the
aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions
before I traversed the road to the wet market would be: What certain
type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's
catch? (Pauses) Aaah, by manner of careful extrapolation, given the
meager budget in this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I
assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng". Am I correct?

Amo: Leche!

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!

7.
"heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat
which is the steel, causing "oriza sativa" to have a chemical change,
thereby changing its state of color, smell, as well as the taste" -
sagot ni Inday bakit nasunog ang sinaing

8.
"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize." - paliwanag ni Inday bakit
maalat ang ulam

9.
"La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar.
Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido
diario por favor? si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo
sa Spain.

10.
*Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa
rice (red variety) and apricot sauce
*Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil
*Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday